If I had a dollar for every genuinely funny tweet that was tweeted, I’d probably reach billionaire status, a laKylie.
Instead of money, we getlaughter,which is arguably better than money. Just kidding. Unlike most of our bank accounts, though, funny tweets are bottomless.
We must warn you: laughter could occur from viewing these tweets. If you’re trying to remain stoic at your desk while pretending to work right now, these carefully selected gems might blow your cover.
1. Dog owners will get it.
2. Finally, an essay I can get behind wholeheartedly.
shakira’s “she wolf” is striking commentary on female sexuality in relation to the notion of the foucauldian “ubu”— when dissatisfied, shakira turns into a literal monster, a grotesque embodiment of power. in this essay i will
— billy (@billyjoebaldwin)March 6, 2019
3. For those who’ve wondered what Elon Musk would look like with a pixie cut:
4. It really does feel like spring is gonna flake on us.
Us: “Spring you still comin.?”
Spring: “Who all ova there.?”
— Unkle Ky. (@TheyLuvKyron2)March 5, 2019
5. This old video of Taylor Swift’s reaction to being asked if she smokes weed is definitely a big fibbing-at-the-doctor’s-office mood.
6. Who can resist a baby saying something theydefinitely shouldn’t?
kids under 3 :
me : “say fuck you”
— he-men-uh (@cxrrea)March 5, 2019
7. If given a choice, I will always choose a 1995 hit single that is now only played ironically.
8. It’s “Nine in the Afternoon” somewhere, right?
oh jeez look at the time, it’s
11 ^ 1
10 | 2
9 inthe afternoon, 4